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This section highlights the importance of supporting people with disabilities to establish relationships, marry and become parents if they choose. It also highlights the issue of violence that people with disabilities may experience within their relationships, marriages and families, and the importance of recognizing and addressing this issue.
Learn about one woman’s brave journey to motherhood in Malawi.
“I am over forty years now and I am proud that I have fought every inch to become what I am.While growing up, I kept on dreaming that I would have a baby of my own because all my sisters were married and had their own. They used to send their children to assist me doing daily chores but could not let them sleep at my house. I was working and staying in my own house as an independent person, but was still treated like an infant. At night I used to feel so lonely, had no one to talk to, no one to bring me water, no sharing of food. That was horrible!!
At the age of 25 I got pregnant. This news brought shock to my sisters, aunts and uncles,because that was the last thing they ever expected of me…I was told that delivering a child was another horrible thing that I could not face due to my disability…The sad news I got was that I should abort the pregnancy because all my sisters had gone through child delivery and they thought I would not be able to go through the process. They frightened me by saying that ‘able-bodied women die during delivery, who are you to try that?’ They even sent a message to the man who was responsible for my pregnancy and threatened to take him to the police. I told them that the gentleman admitted he did not follow the right procedure but accepted to take me as a wife.
My sisters and aunt arranged to take me to the hospital for abortion, but they did not know that I had made up my mind to keep the pregnancy and that I was eager to see a child of my own. I privately went to see a doctor for counselling and advice on the pregnancy. The doctor assured me that it was possible for me to deliver a healthy baby.
Time came when I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. This became a time of joy and reconciliation for the whole family. They were all happy and became very supportive. A few years later I got married to the man and had a handsome baby boy. I am a happy mother of these two children. The girl is now 18 years old and the boy is 14 years old. My children are very accepting and comfortable that I am their mother.
This is a personal experience on how I struggled to become a parent with disability. All one need is courage! I made up my mind and became strong. According to my personal experience, I have seen that motherhood for a woman with disability is undesirable to the non-disabled society. What everyone needs to know is that the decision to have a child or not, or adopt a child is the right and responsibility of every person, including a person with disability.”
— Julian Priscilla Mabangwe, Malawi Council for the Handicapped.
